Kelly, on her tax refund check: I’m going to buy a pair of jeans with it so the government can kiss my ass every day.
Tim: Damn this pot pie! Too many carrots, not enough chicken. I didn’t buy freaking “carrot pot pie.”
Steve: I came back from Vietnam, and I was married.
Elise: Which one was scarier?
Steve: Marriage.
Susie: Vietnam was only a one-year tour.
