Rob: When a second grader asks you to come see something that he or she has completed, the quality is rarely equivalent to their level of enthusiasm.
Elise: By girl standards, we’re normal – but by people standards? Christ … you smell your WRIST. Are you serious?
Jim: I wish I could go back in time so – without getting caught – I could kill her before they could meet.
Clint: How are your girlfriends?
Barnes: Oh, there’s only one now. The older chick.
Clint: The winner.
Sam: I didn’t want my gun just laying out; bitches are crazy.
1 Comment
May 28, 2009 at 4:17 am
Pick any quote from the facebook status thread between your dearest friend Jack and I. Include the title “Oprah Cobra Commander,” and you have a quote for next week.
Also, there is nothing as cathartic as destroying two fifth graders in an old fashioned game of basketball.
I’m trying too hard now. I like beers.