Alex, on Chicago Cubs sucking: When the ever-volatile Milton Bradley came aboard, he promised “pretty much ain’t nothing Milt can’t do.” And boy, has he ever delivered on that double negative.
On the lighter app
Dan: So wait—there’s lighter fluid in the iPhone?
Frank: It’s a picture, Dan. Of a flame.
Mason: So you’re telling me that in San Antonio I would actually be getting paid to not use any water?
Elise: You’d also be getting not laid.
Jackie: It doesn’t taste like pink.
Camila: I’ve been a noncontributing member of life.
