On Bingo
Mason: The numbers only go up in increments of 15.
Elise: You are such a dork. How do you even know that?
Mason: About a million people over the age of 65.
Jackie: Do you remember starting clubs in elementary school, and only certain people could be in them? I had sign-up sheets and everything.
Elise: …who brings paperwork to a playground?
Channing: Sadly, the knock-off perfume/cologne place at the State Fair doesn’t have Star Trek Red Shirt, the scent for those who feel expendable.
Tim: So have you guys set a wedding date?
Elise: July 31st.
Jackie: What?! I can’t believe you told Tim before me!
Elise: You’re sitting right there! You found out at the exact same time.
Tim: Actually, I did hear it first. I was sitting closest, so it was only by microseconds, but still. Me first.
Elise: Thanks for sandbagging me.
Hickey: Patrick Kane now has an entire omelette on his face after getting arrested for allegedly attacking a cab driver over 20 cents change. Yes. Two dimes. For a guy making $875,000 a year. I thought of doing something clever with this post, like a list of the things that Patrick Kane could get with the 20 cents that he wanted back from the cabbie. But the fact of the matter is, there isn’t a fucking thing you could do with 20 cents. The cost of building a time machine to go to a year where 20 cents had any value would far outweigh the usefulness of having the 20 cents.
