Jess: Sundays are bittersweet because they are inherently relaxing, but inevitably lead to Mondays.
Meredith: Why is that guy wearing high waters?
Elise: You laugh now, but just wait til there’s a flash flood.
Meredith: …and then I’d roll my pants.
Elise: Manual Hemming. I like it.
Joel: I didn’t go to my 10-year reunion. They were charging people to show up and just stand around on the grass; I don’t pay to stand on earth.
Hickey, on the Red Dawn remake: Really? Does no one have an original idea anymore? Can we start shipping some more cocaine to Hollywood to get the idea train moving again? Jesus.
Rob, on first date group outing: If either of you think it’s a bad idea to go to a bar where your friends are ‘hanging out’ for the first time, you can just place that right out of your mind. When I’m in Indianapolis, it’s inevitable that I’ll meet somebody I know; and I’d prefer it’s you two rather than a girl I met off Match.com that recognizes me. So, I figure, if you guys are there, the probability that someone else that knows me will be there. It’s statistics. The same reason I always carry a suitcase bomb when I fly. There’s virtually no chance of there being two bombs on a plane.
