At a wedding
Keith: Would you like to dance?
Grandma: No thanks. I only dance dirty.
At the same wedding
Keith: Do you want a drink?
Anonymous: I’m not old enough, but I have some weed.
On “Three Cups of Tea” author
Kelli: He’s an amazing person – he’s built, like, 700 schools in Afghanistan and completely changed the face of their country.
Sarah: He’s also really cute.
Meredith: He lands at 6. He’s coming with a friend.
Elise: He’s bringing a FRIEND as his wedding date? …oh, wait. That’s what you’re doing. Never mind.
Jackie: What would I do without me?
